b.1982, single, occupational therapist.
Jenni was raised in a Christian family and never doubted God's existence. She came forward to affirm her commitment to Christ at a Spring Harvest Festival she attended when she was 14 or 15. It was important to make her own commitment rather than just carry on in the faith that was handed down to her by parents. The commitment, however, was not making much change in her life. When she heard other Christians talk of having a personal relationship with Jesus, she assumed that that's what she had too, for, was it not the case that she had just made the commitment, and therefore acquired the relationship?
By the time of her A-level studies she had moments of wondering why she went to church. When she started her gap year by working in a summer camp (for people with special needs) in USA, it occurred to her that here there was nobody who knew of her Christian commitment and she was free to reinvent herself. She did. She bonded with new friends, smoked and drank and gossipped with them (only swore less than them). She was proud to be making her way in "the real world".
On returning home she announced that she was moving to Glasgow, to live with her boyfriend. The 18 months of living with him were soaked in drink, filled with smoke and dedicated to good-time moments with friends. Sometimes she felt empty, such as when her boyfriend showed only indifference when she confessed that she had just been out with another man. Sometimes she felt pangs of guilt, such as when a cannabis-fuelled, endless bout of giggling with a friend at work clearly caused painful embarrassment to a new work colleague who was making effort to befriend them. But she was living her life her way, and that's what happiness had to be made of, she told herself.
A seed of realisation that not all was well was sown when a man was killed in a brawl just under the windows of their apartment. Jenni as well as her boyfriend and another friend present in their apartment were too stoned to take any notice of the commotion just outside. They should have been excellent witnesses to the police, but in fact were unable to help at all. The policemen politely ignored the aroma and other give-away signs of what accounted for the total uselessness of these witnesses.
God employed non-Christians as well as Christians to bring Jenni back to him. When she was tempted to stay on with her boyfriend instead of going ahead with making an application to university, he told her that she would be stupid not to take her opportunity to make something of her life. On arrival in the university, her new non-Christian friends encouraged her to take up invitations to Christian Union events that she was getting. She was getting these invitations because her parents had made a point of bringing her to York early and taking her to York Baptist Church on the Sunday before term started. There she was met by young people who would not be put off by her ostentatious disinterest in what they had to say.
One of them told Jenni that there was no greater happiness than living for God. She saw that he meant it and became aware of her own unhappiness. Another kept meeting her in the streets over the coming days and weeks, as it were by chance. Helen was always ready to help Jenni with the practicalities of settling down in a new town; and she kept inviting her to the Christian Union events. Jenni eventually relented and went to one. She found people who were so friendly that they made her ill, and a free-floating conversation about God that reminded her of home. She felt the call of home but resisted it. Helen, however, would not be put off and soon came along with another invitation, to a weekend event in Whitby, the Houseparty. Jenni again relented, filled the form and paid the fee, if only to get rid of the diligent and caring Helen.
The bus journey to Whitby was later recalled by someone sitting near Jenni as one in which she excelled herself in embarrassingly sullen protestations of her disinterest in the event to which she was travelling. The first talk that evening was by Pete McNabb, on the importance of having a relationship with God. He talked about how people try to find fulfilment elsewhere, in trying drink and drugs and promiscuous relationships that are not leading anywhere, just to feel satisfied and loved and wanted, but we were made to worship God and only God can fulfil our lives. Jenni felt he was talking directly to her. When he finished and everyone got up to mill around and to leave, she remained sitting, stunned.
The trusty Helen came along, Jenni burst into tears, and they went to a quiet room to talk. Helen listened and then offered to pray for Jenni, and Jenni said "yeah". After saying her prayers to God to help Jenni to discern what she was feeling and make sense of her thoughts, Helen looked up and Jenni knew it was her turn to pray, to God, whom she had done her best to ignore for the last few years. She told him how sorry she was to have turned her back on him, to have made a mess of her life, and to have hurt her parents. Jenni continued to pray on her own after Helen got up and left, and to cry; and then she felt peace for the first time after so long and knew that God was there, in control, and that he loved her regardless of what she had done. He had his arm around her and she was secure, which was all that mattered at that moment. She felt alive, relieved and released, and happy.
Since then, Jenni has enjoyed life like never before. It has been an exciting journey of getting to know what it means having a personal relationship with God. She can't believe how much she has changed in two and a half years. She joined our church in the process. She makes a particular contribution in working with teenagers, e.g. in Ignite, to help them make their relationship with God before they lose a sight of him. She doesn't want them to lose the years she had lost.
Jenni is now finishing her studies and looks forward to taking up her first job as an occupational therapist. She is glad that the position is within a commuting distance from York, where she hopes to settle down and raise a family, unless God calls her to service elsewhere.
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